Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of the Lord. Ephesians 5:21
Does our text teach that the husband and the wife are to share equal authority in their family? I suppose it might, if this verse stood by itself. But it does not; it is the introduction to the largest portion of Scripture that deals with the relationship between husbands and wives. So it must be considered in light of its context. Otherwise, it becomes a pretext. Both partners in the marriage are to submit. That much is clear. But what do they submit to? A careful study of the entire portion in this chapter reveals that the husband is to submit to his wife’s needs, and the wife is to submit to the husband’s leadership or authority. And that will make for a happy and successful marriage.
Submitting to his wife’s needs is not something that a selfish husband would enjoy. But a husband who appreciates the selfless approach of the Lord Jesus in addressing the needs of His bride should desire to show the same selfless approach toward his wife. Verses 28 and 29 remind us that the husband is to care for his wife in the same way that he cares for his own body. This means, for example, that if he has to choose between a new fishing pole for himself and the new shoes that his wife needs (assuming the need is real), he will make sure she receives the new shoes. He will submit himself to meeting her needs before meeting his own. When it comes to taking care of his wife’s material, emotional, and spiritual needs, there is no room for selfishness on the part of the Bible believing husband.
In the same way, there is no room for disrespect or rebellion against her husband on the part of the Bible believing wife. Of course, if the husband treats his wife in the manner that the Bible says he should, no wife in the world would object to being subject to him. His leadership does not mean his domination. A wise husband will always take his wife’s opinions and feelings seriously, and joint decisions on important matters will almost always be the rule, not the exception. But the wise wife will recognize that a loving husband takes the ultimate responsibility, because that is God’s pattern. And that brings us to the motive for the submission: the fear of the Lord.
Much of the world today doesn’t care what the Bible says about anything. But as Christians, we should care. Because the most important aspect of what the Bible teaches is the reality that it is the Word of God. If God says it, that should be the last word, as far as we are concerned. Because we fear the Lord. And God says we should submit to each other. He means it for our best. And if we obey, we receive His best. – Jim MacIntosh
Here is the link to the video of this message: https://youtu.be/wN4Viz6BdUg