This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief. 1 Timothy 1:15
Although he is never recorded as speaking of it, Paul must have deeply regretted his part in the martyrdom of Stephen. He must surely have also regretted his involvement in the persecution of other Christians before he was saved. In the previous verse, he states that he had been a blasphemer and a persecutor and injurious. It is for this wicked behaviour that he labels himself in our text as the chief of sinners. Was this a case of false humility, or did Paul truly believe that? After all, he was the magnificent apostle to the Gentiles, one of the most powerful and prolific preachers and teachers of the early Christian age. It is under the guidance of the Holy Spirit that Paul writes the words ‘of whom I am chief’. Surely he believed it and frankly acknowledged it to Timothy, and to us. Whatever faults Paul had as a Christian, being proud was not one of them. He is an example to us.
C.H. Spurgeon, in speaking of this text, said that when it came to being the chief of sinners, Paul was just one of the regiment. Our sinnership before a holy God must we all confess before we could ever enter the Salvation that became ours at conversion’s day. And our sinnership before God we must all confess before we can enter into the daily Salvation that is ours as we live in Him. It is never in our own righteousness that we live as Christians. Consider Paul’s words to the Corinthian Assembly on this subject: ‘I am the least of the apostles, that am not meet to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am: and His grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I laboured more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me.’ (1 Corinthians 15:9,10) Even as he discusses his work and his diligent application of himself to what God had for him to do, Paul attributes it all to the grace of God. As should we.
Paul was definitely ashamed of what he had been before his dramatic conversion on the Damascus road. And yet, he did not let that shame affect his service for the Lord. No, he placed all of those regrets on the back burner as he moved forward in the joy of being enabled to serve the One Who he had once persecuted. He could say, ‘Forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:13,14). You and I have also those things in our experience of which we are ashamed. And yet, our Salvation rises above that shame, to bring us into faithful and joyful service for our Lord.
Regardless of how bad, our past is only history. Regardless of how humble, our present is joyful service. Regardless of how undeserving, our future is glorious. -Jim MacIntosh